In Episode 7 of Stolen: The Psychology of Scams, host Erin West sits down with psychologist Dr. Martina Dove to explore one of the most misunderstood truths about modern fraud: scams don’t happen because people are foolish — they happen because criminals are experts in human psychology. The episode peels back the curtain on a world where manipulation is methodical, relationships are engineered, and trust becomes the very weapon used against victims.
West opens the episode with a reminder that the title of her podcast, Stolen, is intentional. Victims don’t “give away” their money; it is taken from them. Criminals use psychological strategies that have been refined, industrialized, and deployed at scale across continents.
How a Psychologist Found Herself Studying Fraud
Dr. Martina Dove didn’t come to fraud from cybersecurity or law enforcement. Her path began with studying cognitive biases, such as the Barnum effect, in which people accept vague statements as uniquely meaningful to them. It’s the same phenomenon driving astrology readings and psychic scams, but Dove soon realized how deeply these biases run in online fraud as well. When she discovered P.T. Barnum himself wrote about trickery and scams in the 1800s, the pieces began to fit together.
Her research eventually led her into the world of phishing, social engineering, and long‑term romance‑investment scams, known as pig‑butchering. And what she learned shocked her: scammers today are not amateurs. They are sophisticated operators trained to exploit the architecture of the human mind.
Not Gullibility — Vulnerability
One of the first myths Dove confronts is the idea that “gullible” people fall for scams. In fact, she notes research showing that people who believe scams only target the naïve are more likely to be victimized themselves. Overconfidence makes people less careful. It blinds them to subtle manipulation, and subtlety is where modern scammers excel.
Scammers don’t target stupidity.
They create vulnerability.
Through pacing, attention, affection, withdrawal, credibility cues, and emotional engineering, they shape a victim’s mental and emotional landscape until the victim’s decisions reflect the scammer’s design, not their own best judgment.
Pig‑Butchering and the Art of Slow Manipulation
Pig‑butchering scams exemplify the long game. A scammer does not open with requests for money. Instead, they begin with warmth. Flattery. Shared interests. Hours of daily conversation. A budding friendship or romance becomes a comforting routine.
Only once trust is secured do they begin speaking casually about their own investments. They describe profits. A little success here, a big win there. Nothing preachy, just enough to plant the idea. The victim begins imagining what such returns could do for their own life. Not consciously, but the seed is planted.
When the victim hesitates or expresses doubt, the scammer pulls away. The shift is subtle: fewer messages, shorter responses, an air of distance. Because the relationship itself has become emotionally significant, this sudden gap creates anxiety. Victims begin trying to “win back” the connection, a dynamic Dove connects to ego depletion, a psychological process in which a person’s resistance wears down over time.
Soon, the scammer introduces higher investment amounts, not by demanding them, but by reframing numbers and creating the illusion of miscommunication. A victim says they can invest $2,000, and somehow the next day the scammer is speaking as if they agreed to $5,000 or $10,000. When questioned, the scammer responds with casually dismissive phrases like, “You might as well, the returns are better.” The pressure grows, normalized over the course of weeks.
And then there’s the anger — another manipulation layer. Victims who hesitate may experience subtle shaming:
“I thought you said you wanted a better life.”
The emotional stakes climb. The victim works harder to restore the positive connection they remember from the beginning.
A Second Scammer Enters the Chat
A detail West and Dove both emphasize is the introduction of additional personas, the “uncle,” the “professor,” the “broker,” and the “accountant.” These characters exist to create credibility. When more than one person validates a story, the victim feels social proof that something must be real. Humans are social creatures; group consensus carries psychological weight, even when the “group” is fabricated.
The Isolation Phase
Friends and family often first sense that something is wrong, long after the manipulation has begun. Victims, Dove explains, become isolated in part because scammers seed the idea early. They’ll claim that their own family doesn’t understand the relationship, or hint that the victim shouldn’t share details because “others won’t understand what we have.” In some cases, scammers even warn victims that banks are corrupt or involved in internal fraud.
By the time the family intervenes, it is usually with fear or anger. The victim is primed to interpret that reaction as hostility rather than help. Scammers have already framed loved ones as doubters or saboteurs.
Urgency, Fear, and the Hijacked Brain
One of the most powerful tools in a scammer’s arsenal is urgency, especially when paired with fear. Fake emergencies (car crashes, hospitalizations, sudden financial crises) send the victim’s body into fight‑or‑flight. In that state, rational thinking is suppressed. The victim reacts quickly to resolve the distress, often by sending money.
Fear, Dove notes, is one of the most potent psychological influencers. When a scammer triggers it, victims will act against their own typical caution.
The Damage Runs Deeper Than Money
One of the most painful themes throughout the episode is the emotional aftermath of scams. Victims describe feeling violated, ashamed, and alone. Dove has interviewed people who have stopped helping strangers, stopped supporting small businesses, or avoided situations that require trust. The world begins to seem darker, more dangerous.
For elderly victims, the consequences can be tragic. West and Dove discuss reports that older adults who lose their life savings to fraud often experience rapid physical and emotional decline and, in some cases, die within months.
This isn’t just financial crime. It’s a crisis of trust.
The Power of Empathy in Intervention
One of the most hopeful insights Dove shares is that empathy matters.
Victims respond not to confrontation, but to patience, kind questions, and gentle invitations to reflect. A financial advisor succeeded in one case where many fail simply by asking the victim to “hold off and see what happens,” not by attacking the relationship or belittling their feelings.
Banks and financial institutions, Dove suggests, should consider selecting employees with the right temperament patient, empathetic, emotionally resilient to handle scam interventions. The wrong tone can push victims further into the scammer’s influence. Ask empathetic questions that prompt the victim to slow down and engage their critical thinking.
Scammers Are Improving Faster Than Public Awareness
Perhaps the episode’s most sobering warning is that scammers are evolving. The old red flags: love bombing, early declarations of affection, dramatic professions, and obvious money asks are fading. The new scams begin slowly, subtly, almost mundanely. Victims are lulled into a sense of normalcy precisely because the scammer knows what signs people are told to avoid.
We are educating the public with outdated information, Dove warns. Meanwhile, scammers are refining their methods.
A Final Word
Episode 7 of Stolen offers something rare: a compassionate, deeply human look at how and why scams work. Erin West and Dr. Martina Dove make clear that these crimes are not about intelligence; they are about psychology. They are about trust, emotion, vulnerability, and the slow, deliberate manipulation of human connection.
What scammers steal isn’t just money.
It’s a person’s sense of reality.
Their sense of themselves.
Their belief that the world is safe.
Understanding this is the first step toward fighting back.
Walt Houser 